Welcome back to Finish the Sentence Friday! We give you a sentence, and you finish it, however long or short you like! Today’s sentence is:
I did something really stupid once. I…
Well, that’s not a hard one. You may remember a post I wrote last week, titled, I Am From Venus, Your Head is Up Uranus: 6 Differences Between Men and Women. No? Go ahead, start there. I’ll wait.
OK, now that you’re all caught up, you can see where I may have gotten myself into trouble. Despite my assertion that my husband would likely not read my post, he did. Yup. It wasn’t his favorite. Not only did I write something that could have been interpreted as disparaging towards him, (and other men in general, to be fair. I wasn’t exactly singling him out.) I was also then immediately stricken with food poisoning.
This left my husband in charge of the household, while I laid around and moped. He cooked, cleaned, took time off work to get the kids, and proved himself to be a competent, thoughtful husband and father. Not that I didn’t already know that. You see- while I think there is often some truth (and a lot of humor) in venting about gender differences, I was mostly been snarky for the sake of snark. (Have I lost you yet?)
So, just to prove that I am an equal-opportunity critic, I will now list for you the qualities that make me not such an easy person to live with. I wouldn’t want anyone to get the impression that I am a man-bashing, sanctimonious, narcissist. When it comes to being self-deprecating, I have a PhD. (The “D” stands for deprecation. Duh.)
May I present:
6 Reasons My Husband is a Saint for Putting Up With Me
- I wrote a not very nice blog post about him doing less than thoughtful things, and he was a good sport about it. When I told him I would take it down, he told me to leave it up, because other ladies would think it was funny. (Hanging head in shame now.)
- I tell him every tiny detail of the minutiae of our day. Sometimes I call him to tell him these boring things at work. “The wiper blade broke while I was driving, but I fixed it by myself!” … “Sophie said the word horrible today!”….”A kid at the bus stop got hit in the face with a block of ice!”… Yes, I call him at work to tell him these things.
- I am terribly indecisive. I cannot seem to make a decision about what food to prepare at mealtimes, what summer camp to send our daughter to, which coat is the most weather-appropriate for a trip to the zoo. I consult him on everything.
- I talk constantly. Oh, and I sing in the car always. And I quote movies. (I am actually quite brilliant at quoting movies, due to my phenomenal memory and uncanny knack for finding the perfect moment for inserting said movie quote. It’s true. Ask anyone.)
- I am a hypochondriac. And, noting Item #4, I cannot keep my list of ailments quiet. I make sure that my husband is informed of all muscle spasms, ovulation pains, strange rashes, and bleeding knuckles. (I have dry skin. Or psoriasis.)
- I am emotional and overreactive. I believe a therapist would use the word “over-functioning” to describe my emotional tendencies. Which is probably why other people in my family, ahem, tend to “under-function” when it comes to discussing feelings. But this post is about me, not them.
See? I have just as many unflattering things to say about myself. But next time, perhaps when I feel like venting my unkind thoughts, I’ll write it in my diary. (Probably not, actually. I don’t have a diary.)
Your FTSF hosts:
Janine from Janine’s Confessions of a Mommyaholic
Kate from Can I Get Another Bottle of Whine?
Dawn from Dawn’s Disaster
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Next week’s sentence is: “One time when I was bored out of my mind, I…”
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