Remember the Prince song 1999? Well, when it actually was 1999, I was pretty much partying like it was 1999. I was a junior in college, 21 years old, living with my best friends, and having the time of my life. I was reflecting the other day on how much life had changed since then. Perhaps it was this revelation that set things in motion:
Anyway, fast forward 14 years, add two kids, and you have a 34 year old (I’m not cheating, math majors- I turn 35 in July.) mother of two kids, living the dream in suburbia. Here are some examples of how my life has evolved since college.
- Then: Instead of chanting, “Drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker, drink!” Now: I chant, “This poopy diaper’s got to go, hey hey, ho ho!”
- Then: Sometimes I ate two dinners: my usual cafeteria meal of ranch-drenched salad, pizza, and Lucky Charms, and a second meal with my off-campus friends, likely prepared at 9:30 p.m. Now: While my menu selections may be equally random due to my distaste for grocery shopping, the idea of indulging in two evening meals is laughable. I’m lucky to get through one before I give up, having grown weary of my Whack-a-Mole impersonation, springing up to refill milk, get a toddler-sized fork, grab the ketchup, get someone a napkin….
- Then: Sloppy kissers used to be frowned upon. Now: I can’t get enough of my toddler’s wet, slobbery kisses when I am rocking her before bed at night.
- Then: My roommates and I used to watch the movie Drop Dead Gorgeous over and over without tiring of it. Now: If I have to watch Ariel’s Beginning one more time, I’m going to go jump on a pile of Legos barefoot.
- Then: I drove a 1989 Oldsmobile Cutlass Calais that belonged to my deceased grandmother. It was the least reliable vehicle ever made. Now: I drive the requisite minivan, complete with two carseats, mounds of crushed goldfish, discarded tissues, and headless Polly Pockets.
- Then: My “fresh bed linens” policy was questionable. Now: Sleeping “in the wet spot” likely refers to leaking milk (both the human and cow variety), urine, or spit-up. I still don’t change my sheets often enough.
- Then: Occasionally, I would fall asleep in my clothes. Now: That would imply that I don’t change into my pajamas at 4:30 p.m. Which I do.
- Then: Though I was having the time of my life, I’m not sure that I ever felt truly comfortable in my own skin. Now: While my life my not be as exciting and tumultuous as it once was, I feel content and at peace with myself.
- Then: My three best friends and I thought we would be in each other’s lives forever. Now: I am proud to say we are making that happen. There were periods of years after college graduation where we didn’t speak to one another; we needed some time and space to grow into ourselves and shed our adolescent skin. However, we found our way back together, live within an hour of one another, and though we don’t see each other as often as we like, we get together at least 3-4 times a year.
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