I am excited to feature a guest post today from Nicole Yontz, a contributing writer for WhatToExpect.com. Have you ever felt compelled to come to your kid’s rescue?
Before I had my 3-year-old Audrey, I wasn’t really a kid person. I wasn’t anti-kid; they were great and all, as long as they were quiet and went to someone else’s home at a reasonable hour. I also didn’t baby-sit as a teenager, even though I am the oldest of 5, and never volunteered in the nursery at church.
Then one day our happy little surprise graced us with her presence and all was right in the world. I no longer disliked kids. In fact, I LOVED kids…my kids. Other kids? Eh, still not so much.
The point is, I get it. I get when someone doesn’t like kids. I feel ya. Fist bump. However, when said-kid-disliking person happens to be the leader at my daughter’s Vacation Bible School, well, that’s a whole matter that now needs addressing.
From day one VBS lady seemed to have it out for her. When I came to pick her up, I was already toe-to-toe with VBS lady over her having to help Audrey on the potty, and if she needed help again in the future that would be an issue.
SHE’S THREE. Yes, they have mini potties, but this was the one time they weren’t near a mini potty and they just happen to be near an adult potty and that’s, of course, when Audrey heard nature calling. I’m not sure what the chances were that Audrey would have to visit the potty again in that tiny time frame, but if she did, there would be hell to pay.
Day two. Upon picking her up, I was greeted with a scowling VBS lady because my daughter “wasn’t interested in doing what she was supposed to do.” I kindly explained to VBS lady that Audrey was THREE and that in her preschool classes it was more of a Montessori environment where they are allowed to color, or read if they are not interested in doing what the teacher is doing, as long as they were doing something constructive. I followed this up with a plea for grace for Audrey as she is also not used to being trapped in a room with 30 screaming 3-years-olds and perhaps she is a bit overwhelmed. Regardless, I would be dolling out some discipline and we would be discussing it with her at home. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. (Maybe VBS needs to do some reading on toddler basics at WhatToExpect.com)
Day three. On the way to VBS, I asked Audrey if she was going to listen to her teacher that day and what the consequences would be if she didn’t. She replied with “I’m a bad girl. A BAD GIRL!”
Excuse me, what did you just say? Oh hell no. I have never called my daughter a “bad girl.” She has bad behaviors. She understands that to the best of her abilities at three, but she is NOT a bad girl.
Reluctantly, against my better judgment, I continue to the VBS drop off.
At pick up time I am faced with, again, a scowling VBS lady who tells me “I am not telling you not to bring Audrey back; however, she is very disruptive to the other kids.”
This time I sat silent and listened.
She continues, “And the biting and the kicking. We just can’t have that.” Hold on, back your train up. Biting? That’s when I had had enough of VBS lady.
“I am not going to make excuses for my daughter or say she is a perfect angel, because I know she is not. She is a strong-willed only child and we are working on both of those things. However, my daughter has been to enough pre-school classes, play groups, and church classes that I know she has never ever solved her problems by biting. If she did bite, and I’m not saying she didn’t, but if she did, someone bit her first.”
I wanted to say so much more. I wanted to stick up for my baby, but in that moment I knew I was going to come across as that mom who thinks sunshine pours out of their child’s ass, and probably say something that I would later regret. I knew that this lady did not like my daughter and nothing I said was going to change that.
There never was a day four. The next morning Audrey asked if we were going to school, which I answered no, and she seemed perfectly happy about that, and so was I.
You can tell your child not to touch the hot stove only so many times before you just have to take them out of the kitchen.
Have you ever had to deal with an adult that just didn’t like your child? How did you address it?
Nicole Yontz is a stay at home mom in Arizona, a contributing parenting writer for WhatToExpect.com and a personal blogger at TheBetterHalfBlogs.com.